Get in the picture

For the love of your future self

Last summer, I spent a month traveling through Europe as our daughter’s personal photographer.

Technically it was a family vacation, but I spent much of the trip like this:

Are you impressed with my squats? I am.

Sophie traveled not only with a phone, but with a digital point-and-shoot meant to give all of her photos the “Y2K vibe” she was looking for. Having lived through the exact era she yearns for, I was triggered not only by her many low-rise outfits but the fact that she was carrying the Sony Cybershot I once stuffed into a Coach (outlet) wristlet along with my ID, $20 (which equated to four pitchers of Natural Light) and a lip gloss.

Each night in the hotel, she would upload the photos from her SD card and carefully select the photos she shared on the Instagram I’m allowed to follow and her second, more secret account that is none of my business.

She is young and gorgeous and I thought it would be okay to post a photo of her to my own Instagram story, a shot of her looking luminous on a pristine beach. I was, for the first time in my life, wrong.

Take it down!!!! She shouted, I look horrible!!

I took it down, even though a poll of a million strangers would have proven her wrong.

I didn’t see what she saw, because I was not 19 years old. I was 40ish, an age I will be until I turn 50, but I have the same affliction, as do many of us.

I’m not saying that you have to love every photo of yourself, especially if you have been victimized by the photographic stylings of a straight man who promised to love and obey you until you were parted by death, and then took the kind of photos that made that vow seem like a case for homicide.

No jury would convict me

I’m only asking you to consider that with the exception of the worst people in the world, life is tragically short. Someday, you will look upon this version of yourself and see yourself through new eyes. Eyes that might need bifocals or cataract surgery, but eyes that still work well enough to see that you, with that rogue chin hair or the jeans that Gen Z TikTokkers are trying to bully you out of wearing¹ are more beautiful than you know.

Someday you will long for the version of you that exists today, however flawed you believe her to be. Give future you something to marvel over, grab your Cybershot, and get in the picture.

Yours in earnestness and imperfection,

Nora

❤️ I pulled together all of my Sun Protection favorites here.

❤️ A Happyish Complicated Father’s Day episode for those who struggle to celebrate

❤️ My forever favorite THC/CBD drinks are always 20% off with code NORA20. I love a roadie in a glass of sparkling water!

❤️ If you missed the Helix Memorial Day sale, they’re already onto Fourth of July. I got the Dusk Luxe but take the quiz! (Code NORAM gets you 21% off if you miss the sale!)

❤️ I love these pants, want them in every color.

Wanna hang out?

• I looooove speaking about mental health, grief and other hilarious topics. You can email bkane@apbspeakers.org if you want to bring me to your event or organization.

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xo,

Nora

1. shut up with the “_____ is aging you.” I AM AGING! Time is aging me! I will wear whatever jeans I want! I’m not trying to be 20! I already did that and it sucked!