Surviving is enough.

You don't need to finish the year "strong" whatever that means

Before we begin: I closed the TTFA Patreon and moved the archives of Terrible, Thanks for Asking over here. The podcast will return as a Substack exclusive in 2025, so now is a great time to become a paid subscriber or gift a subscription. All the details are right here.

It has begun.

The instagram recaps that feel more like highlight reels and the inspirational posts that feel more like mandates: finish the year strong. Walk into 2025 ready to grab this year by the throat and show it who’s boss.

Maybe you had a year where everything went your way and these next few weeks are just a victory lap. Maybe you’re ready to start a new year and a new life on January first, with perfect clarity and focus. If that’s the case, good for you!¹

But maybe you’re just a regular person who is truly flummoxed by the fact that Christmas is 10 days away, a person who has spent the year playing Whac-A-Mole² with various disasters and distractions, a person who is going to enter the new year looking something like this:

Look, I’m surviving!

Congratulations, you’re normal!

Even if you know cognitively that social media is mostly smoke and mirrors and filters and lying by omission, it’s hard not to feel like you’re the only one living a life with American Gladiator level obstacles when everyone else is sharing What Went Perfectly in 2024. It’s hard not to compare your reality with the (skewed) reality of what friends and strangers choose to share online.

Are you the only one whose family is precariously balanced on the edge of a crumbling cliff? Are you the only one who feels like you’re walking into the new year with a limp and an eye patch? Are you the only one whose Christmas card looks like this?

This 2022 holiday card was sent out in February 2023 and is the last card we’ve managed to send. We really did try.

OF COURSE NOT!

So please allow me to offer you this small and sincere mantra to get you through the next 2 weeks, and the many more to come:

Surviving is enough.

See also: C’s get degrees.

You are not a machine that can work flawlessly at the push of a button or a publicly traded company expected to keep the charts going up and to the right.

You do not owe the world perfection.

You do not need to perform your many (mostly unchosen) roles gracefully and flawlessly.

You do not need to come through this year, this month, this week or this day better than ever.

It is enough, as Mary Oliver said, to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves, which for me is an ice cold Diet Coke in a can and a Bravo show blaring in the background.

You do not need to alchemize your experiences into Huge Life Lessons or turn your pile of lemons into lemon sorbet.

Surviving is — and always has been — enough.

• This episode of TTFA with Charles Bock, the author of I Will Do Better is for anyone who had to grieve while parenting.

• I had to buy a new deodorant on my way to a party and people kept asking me why I smelled so good (this does not happen to me, a sweaty person) and the answer is this deodorant.

• If you missed the Pura Black Friday sale...you're in luck! You can stock up on your favorite fragrances and save up to 30% -- I'm rotating Otherland Fallen Fir and NEST Holiday right now and our house smells like Christmas should smell.

• I have two headphones that I’m loyal to and they’re both on sale: The Bose QuietComfort (aka head huggers that help me work) are 47% off (lol), and Beats Flex (impossible to lose, better sound and mic than AirPods, truly the best) are 43% off (also lol).

• A reel you can share for anyone pressuring you to be HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY this holiday season.

• Happyish Holidays 2024 was AMAZING. Paid subscribers can watch the livestream replay (unedited) at the link below the paywall.